Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m amazed at how much better my life has been since the iOS 7 update. I bet it would be even better if I owned an iPhone.
I`ve spent my whole life trying to find a girl with a psychiatric disorder that makes her think she`s a woodpecker.
My Doctor says I`m a serious alcoholic, but I think I`m more of a funny alcoholic.
That awkward moment when you have 10+ tabs open and you can`t figure out which one the music is coming from. FML
At this point I`m guessing the North only won the Civil War because the South got half an inch of snow and they completely lost their minds
If men could have multiple orgasms, lotions would cost more than an iPhone.
Christmas trees are like boobs...the fake ones are nice to look at... But the real ones are so much better
I hate Russian nesting dolls. They`re so full of themselves
"The truth shall set you free"....unless you are in court. Then you should probably shut the f*ck up.
Changing a whole text message just because you didn`t know how to spell one word?
My leadership experience is pretty much limited to those three consecutive days in first grade when I was line leader.
If I had three wishes, I`d use one for boobs. Because I`m pretty sure I could get everything else that I wanted if I had boobs.
Roses are red, so is my wine. Refill my glass and I`ll be just fine.
Someone tore off my warning label when I was born.
And today I learned to never ask a woman how she dye`s her roots black.