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They don`t make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery.
In post apocalyptic movies everyone wears leather ... but there are no cows.
Some things get in the way of my happiness, so I ignore them.
Sometimes when I wave my hands in the air, I actually do care.
Anyone that tells you money is the root of all evil is f*cking broke.
went to vegas: put a coin in the machine and a prize came out, put another coin and another prize came out...problem is i don`t know what to do with all these empty cans now.
Much like a dog, men will pretty much do anything you want if you feed them first.
This "NORMAL" you speak of, doesn`t sound fun at all.
My date just saved me tons of money by simply saying, "no, I don`t want to be your valentine and stop texting me!"
If you`re having second thoughts, you`re 2 ahead of most people.
CONGRATULATIONS! You are the 13th woman he`s called "beautiful" on Facebook today.
80% of my status updates are BS, 15% are bologna and 5% are 100% straight from the heart.
Adam didn`t take any crap from Eve. He wore the plants in that relationship
Spruce up your weeknight: run the dishwasher and imagine you`re on a cruise!
While it was raining today, I thought for fun I would run out there and scream "I`m melting I`m melting!"