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It`s crazy that your brain can calculate where to put your hand to catch a 98 mph fastball... But won`t keep your mouth shut when a woman is angry
If I saw a ghost, I would not be scared. I’d be like “Sit your translucent ass down, I have a lot of questions!”
Reverse Psychology: DO not STALK MY FB PAGE. YOU ARE not OBSESSED WITH ME...
Don`t look at me in that tone of voice...
"That was supposed to be a compliment." -Men
I`m having a problem in Call Of Duty, I go to the menu and... ok by now the girls have stopped reading this, anyone know any good porn sites?
I started to compliment my neighbors on their new wallpaper but then I realized they can`t hear me through binoculars.
Do you ever wish that you could just unmeet someone.
If you died and went to he!l, how long will it take you to realise that you aren`t still at work?
Hello everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like.
You know what the trouble with jogging is...by the time you realize you`re not in shape for it, it`s too far to walk back.
The general rule is that you shouldn`t ride an elevator during a fire, but I mean, talk about a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity
If you didn`t want me looking in your bedroom than you never should have put your window at the same height as my ladder.
My favorite exercise is somewhere between a lunge and a crunch. It`s called lunch.
Obviously the movie "the good wife" is not based on a true story. It`s fiction people.