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People who live in glass houses must have to clean up a lot of dead birds.
I would order delivery more often, but I just can`t stand lowering the drawbridge.
My girlfriend says I talk while I sleep... but I`m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
If you ever question yourself, your life choices, your sanity...just watch an episode of Hoarders and you`ll be all good.
I still remember the first time I lied about being able to time travel... It was 3 weeks from tomorrow.
I keep having this recurring nightmare that lasts 8 hours a day, Monday through Friday.
Sometimes I think "What would Dexter do"?
If Wyle E Coyote had enough cash to buy all that ACME stuff why didn’t he just buy dinner?
All I ask for is a chance to prove money can`t make me happy.
I work so hard for my gta V character to have a better life
my imaginary friend thinks ur crazy? an shes hot!
With my eyes. That`s how I roll.
Walmart has their new Savings Catcher app... I`m thinking savings isn`t the only thing you will catch ...
We live in a time where "He is hot" is more important than "He is a nice guy."
All I know about sex is from Internet Porn, I`ve tried everything except `Buffering`.