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Yes, your opinion matters ... But not to me.
Sure I have my doubts, but Bigfoot doesn’t have any pictures of me either.
Men look at boobs for the same reason women look at puppies in a cage, we just want to set them free.
Have you ever woke up pissed at someone because of something they did in your dream?
The best way to deal with dumb people is to never leave your house sober
I just called the Alcohol Hotline and those bastards don`t even deliver.
I just realized that the only time I`m good at dancing is when I`m about to pee my pants
It`s pretty amazing how many times my daughter likes to say "it`s not fair!" considering she has never had to pay taxes
Don`t let the propeller hat fool you... I have no idea how to fly this plane.
I understand vampires being invisible in mirrors, but what the hell happens to their clothes?
"I can`t believe it`s not clutter." ~ A recovering hoarder
According to Pinterest, I`m severely under-utilizing mason jars.
Once in a while, someone amazing will come into your life. And here I am!
Sometimes, I question my sanity ... Sometimes, it replies
If you’re keeping score in your relationship, I promise you, you’re losing.