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It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.
If your dog takes a dump on your floor and you clean it up, who owns who??
Still waiting for a Discovery Channel "How It`s Made" episode on babies.
Every loaf of bread is a tragic story of grains that could`ve become beer, but didn`t
This pregnancy test confirmed my worst fear….. I’m just fat.
I have this talent of getting tired without doing nothing.
Do you ever wish you had a second chance to meet someone again for the first time?
is accepting applications. Needed someone to keep me from doing dumb stuff. See previous post.
decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
You know you`re married when you find her sexier with clothes on.
Thank you for showing me your Facebook wedding album. Now if you have time, here is a slideshow of my top 36 scores in Mario Kart
Don`t mistake my middle finger as an offer.
You know when you’re exercising and feel like you could keep going and going? That’s happening to me, only with beer.
Do you smoke? Smokers: "Yes." Non-Smokers: "Never have, never will." Stoners: "Smoke what?"
My Son: The marriage vows say "tell death do us part", so we are not married in heaven ? Me: That`s right son, cause if we were still married, we`d be in hell.