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I just realized that if we drink enough wine, the adult`s table will become the kid`s table.
I think my front door faces the wrong direction. People keep finding it.
Happy President`s day all. Heading out to buy a new mattress.
Pretty considerate of germs to count all the way to five before jumping on the food we drop.
Just think about all the stuff you aren`t thinking about.
Nobody on television curses more than the Roadrunner.
I`ve learned more from one season of "Shark tank", than I ever learned in four years of buisness school.
Time to be an adult and give up my bath time rubber ducky. I´m upgrading to the tugboat!
The human race is the only one that lets its idiots live a full life...
is wondering why books on "how to make women happy" arent displayed in the fiction section
Man, the first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
Doormats are a gateway rug.
I just want you to be happy. And naked.
My mind is telling me nooo... But my body... My body`s telling me yesss...BABY. Cashier: Sir...would you like fries with that or not?
i dont have drain bramage.