Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If doing things was as easy as thinking about doing things Iād get a lot more done.
Maybe vodka is addicted to me
I would watch NASCAR if it was more like Mario Kart.
The problem is I have just enough money to get into trouble but not enough to make bail.
Auctioneers are proof white guys could rap if they tried hard enough.
This haunted house sucks. It`s just people sitting in cubicles under fluorescent lights looking sad. Wait, I`m at work, sorry.
If you think about it,, Batman was pretty lazy about naming all his stuff.
Pouring a bucket of white marbles into the hippo pen will result in a lifetime ban from the zoo no matter how hungry they look.
Karma takes too long ..... I`d rather beat the sh%t out of you.
It`s not you, it`s me. I just don`t like myself when I`m around you.
If your that person that makes microwave popcorn at work, nobody likes you.
If my life was a GPS it would constantly be recalculating
wants to rock and roll all night
Thinking " What would happen if the whole world farted at once and a person lit a lighter?"
Chillin: the art of doing nothing without being bored.