Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just passed the local college and saw 3 very fit young ladies with very tight yoga pants walking to class...I have never been so motivated to return to college.
Someone told me that I seemed a little more classy than usual. The only thing I can think of is they somehow found out I used a Target bag instead of one from Wal Mart to line my bathroom`s wastepaper basket.
If someone says you used too much butter or cheese on something, stop talking to them. You don`t need that kind of negativity
Remember when there was more important crap to do besides Facebook all day? Me neither.
Is it "I febreezed my crotch" or "I febroze my crotch"?
I won’t come to your party unless you have an animal I can spend the whole time hanging out with.
What kind of jerk makes an anti-anxiety pill difficult to break in half?
I don’t think we can get through adulthood without a good sense of humor and a strong middle finger.
If all the worlds a stage and the men and women merely players, how come Justin Bieber gets all the airtime?
The longest five seconds in anyone’s life is waiting to press the “Skip Ad” button on YouTube.
That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is “act natural, you’re innocent”.
I`m saving all my good posts for when I can think of some.
When I get married I plan on introducing my spouse as my ex-fiancé just to mess with people.
Just signed a $320,000, nine year deal with my therapist.
Living alone is pretty cool, I don`t even know if my bathroom door closes