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Don`t forget: it`s very important what strangers on the Internet think about you.
Apparently somebody gets stabbed every 52 seconds...sucks to be that guy
Why can’t the shower just naturally keep itself clean?
Santa must be the bravest man around. Who else would let a bunch of deer pull them around in a sleigh during hunting season?
is easily distracted by shiny objects.
You can tell a lot about someone by whether they read HP as horsepower or hit points.
I gave up my Ego, because I am so much better than that..................
joined a nudist colony last week ... the first few days were the hardest!
I like to start my morning off with a good nap.
Pro tip: Do not make snow angels in a dog park.
A vegan friend on FB said if we had to kill our own food, we wouldn`t eat meat... I think if he had to build his own computer he couldn`t whine on FB.
You bring the friendship, I`ll bring the benefits.
A sheep spends it`s entire life fearing the wolf only to be eaten by the Shepherd.
Water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can`t make coffee.
change your birthday on facebook to today, see how many people say happy birthday for APRIL FOOLS!!!! lol