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Things were said. Feelings were hurt. Your car was set on fire. My point is you’re wrong & Raphael isn’t the best Ninja Turtle. Get over it.
Hurricane preparedness tip: 1. Buy several kegs of beer 2. Drink beer 3. Wait for flooding 4. Drop kegs in water 5. Float to safety....
Welcome to Psychic Abilities 101. Today`s class was just rescheduled for tomorrow. If you`re here now, you failed.
Ever since I installed Adblocker, I have been severely depressed. Hot singles in my area are no longer interested in me.
The person that named the eggplant probably isn’t allowed to name things anymore.
this guy with binoculars has been watching me watch him with binoculars and i don`t know who`s winning
If I had a dollar for everytime I was distracted, look squirrel!
People who say they sleep like a baby usually dont have one
That awkward moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.
I tried to open a can of WhoopAss,, but it popped like a can of biscuits and scared me.
I just came online to check the weather. That was 12 years ago.
didn`t get much sleep last night, I tried counting sheep but they kept cutting in line, confused the hell outta me!!
When I wake up at night, I reach out to you, I love you not for what you look like, I love you for what you have inside - Me to my fridge
Google maps should have a “Scenic!” route option for when we’re not in a hurry and just want to enjoy the ride.
change your birthday on facebook to today, see how many people say happy birthday for APRIL FOOLS!!!! lol