Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Everybody says waking up at 5 in the morning to exercise makes you feel great but I think lying in bed for another 2 hours feels better.
I knew the Psychic was no good the moment she accepted my check
Before Walmart, you had to buy a ticket to the fair to see a bearded woman.
In hell you`re always trying to spread butter that`s too cold.
If I could keep it short, my life would be so much simpler.
I was way too drunk last night to drive home. So I drove to another party.
I wonder if there are birds that prefer not to sing in the morning and that just roll around in their nests until noon.
I wish I could just cut out the middleman and have the light honk when it turns green.
I just assume I do everything wrong since I don`t have a wife to confirm it.
If those Febreeze commercials with rooms filled with stinking, rotting garbage convince you to buy their product. Here`s a heads up for you........ You need to clean your freaking house!!!
If you can´t read this, you´re illiterate.
I can`t relate to people who "forget to eat"
A dating site based on Netflix viewing compatibility.
The future was so much cooler in the past.
I once dated a Rockette with Tourette`s. Talk about kicking and screaming!