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If someone is uncomfortable watching you masturbate they; A. Have intimacy issues B. Are frigid C. Should sit somewhere else on the bus
A new study has found that women find it seven times easier to read men’s facial expressions than men have reading women’s. That’s mostly because we’re not looking at their faces ...
Sometimes you`ve got to ask yourself: `Why am I talking to myself?`
Renewed my "Man Card" today, by going out in the cold, drizzly weather to cut firewood. In other news, police are investigating sightings of a chainsaw wielding maniac in the my area. I hope the catch that nut job!
Some people have goals of conquering the world! My goal is to sleep through the night without having to get up and pee!
If the river were beer and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and never come up..
Just seen a homeless dude with a sign that said “too ugly to prostitute”
Facebook becomes 100 times more entertaining when you have work to do.
Bacon has protein. Spinach has protein. Bacon is a vegetable.
I have to be funny because being hot is not an option.
If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, does it really have calories?
"I understand your logic, but let`s try to look at this more emotionally." - women
I got rid of all the bad influence people in my life and now I`m bored.
Me: I`m gonna lose weight. Me: I`m gonna exercise every day. Me: I`m gonna go on a diet and stick to it. Me: Is that cake?
Driving a Dodge doesn`t automatically make you a defensive driver.