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I`m sorry I slapped you. It`s just you seemed like you weren`t going to stop talking and I panicked.
If I could turn invisible I’d go to Paris and beat up a performing street mime… The amount of applause he’d get would be amazing!
Never trust a person with only one Facebook photo of themselves.
The good thing about being tall is, you can`t get lost in a crowd. The bad thing is, you can`t get lost in a crowd.
I may not be the richest guy...or the smartest guy...or the funniest guy...or the best-looking guy...or the .....:( Forget it, now I`m depressed.
If McDonald`s was smart they`d serve breakfast until 2pm on the weekends.
New Subway rule: You must give the person in front of you a wedgie if they take more than 5 seconds to choose what kind of bread they want.
If puppies could talk I would never even want to try and make human friends ever again.
If any of you ever want your kitchen painted orange just give a six year old Cheetos for lunch and tell them not to make a mess. Works every time.
Bipolar smile :(: ...... Gets um everytime !
No toilet paper.. goodbye socks
90% of adulthood is just deleting emails.
If there is a wrong place and a wrong time, I’ll be there.
Pretty busy today. Was only able to check my phone 1400 times.
Wonder what my couch is doing right now.