Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Jack Frost go away, come again another day. I need some sun, I need some sand, I need an island & a band. I`m bored with you & tired of the cold, so go away your getting old. Bring on the sun at one hundred degrees, some coconut oil & pina coladas please
Girls don`t dress for guys, they dress for themselves. If they dressed for guys they would be naked all the time
It is amazing how a nice pair of boobs can hide serious flaws and signs of mental illness until after you marry them!
What`s the lowest IQ someone can have while still being a relatively full functioning adult? My wife wants to know.
I hope the meteorite crash in Russia doesn`t affect the price of Vodka!
Don´t believe all the rumours you hear about me, the truth is much worse.
I`m glad I know sign language. It`s pretty handy.
The fact that Pitbul is even considered a musician is more disgusting than the fact that toothpaste was invented years after french kissing was.
I`m watching Godzilla tonight.... His parents asked me to babysit
Did you know you have the right to remain silent even when you`re not being arrested?
You know what`s beautiful? Read the first word again.
Going to the toilet without your phone is like going to war without a gun
Most people who think I`m a nice person have no idea that I`d trade any one of my kids for a deep dish pizza.
Another year has passed. I`ve just about given up on the Mayans.
I thought I cracked this "adulthood" till I realised my shirt was on inside out !!!!!