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Women are so jealous. I bet Eve counted Adam`s ribs everyday to see if another woman had been created.
Instead of torturing people for getting information, why don’t they just get them really drunk?
Ya Know, if I was Jessie`s Girl. I would of dumped Jessie for Rick Springfield!!
I`m gaining weight for my role as "Before picture"
Some people should be ticketed for wearing spandex
Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza
screw flowers, its all about chia pets ;)
I love that moment when I`m cruising down the highway listening to country music and I suddenly realize "wait a minute I can change the station!"
That awkward moment when you tell your parents something funny, but it turns into a life lesson.
Why do the 5 seconds I have to wait before I can "skip ad" last 30 seconds?
Starting tomorrow: Whatever Life throws at me… I’m gonna duck so it hits someone else.
Been reading up on the thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.
Some questions just answer themselves. Like, sit-ups or pizza?
Women- God’s version of a Rubik’s cube.
I have an inferiority complex,,,,,, but it isn`t a very good one.