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I have decided to stop doing things "Like a Boss" and will now do things "Like a Rhinestone Cowboy."
There’s nothing wrong with enjoying free samples at the grocery store. Just make sure they’re samples. And free. And it’s a grocery store.
You guys know that there are things higher than kites, right?
I`ve been wondering, If poison goes out of date and expires, does it become more or less deadly?
My next pet is going to be named "Peeve."
Why are clothes so expensive? I shouldn`t have to pay so much to not be naked. Other people should pay me not to be naked.
Id explain it to you, but I don’t have any crayons with me.
How do some people manage to sit on it and talk out of it at the same time?
Life before the internet was awful. Your friend would be wrong about a trivial issue during dinner and you just had to let it go
Farted in my wallet, Now I have gas money.
What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabi.
Well, Thanks to SAMSUNG, flat screens are no longer `Flat`.
I just wish the automatic paper towel dispensers were half as sensitive as the automatic flushers.
I have nothing!
One day I hope the bravery of the people who initiate clapping is recognized.