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Life should be more like hockey. When someone pisses you off, you just beat the sh!t out of them then sit in a penalty box for 5 minutes.
I believe in love at first episode.
I don`t hit the "Like" button on my own statuses because I am self-centered, it`s just that I amaze myself sometimes and I want to show my appreciation!!!!!!
I would watch NASCAR if it was more like Mario Kart.
I`m not ignoring you, I am simply giving you time to reflect on what an idiot you are being.
I have Beer.
Waking up an hour early gives you an extra hour to wish you were still in bed.
This bald spot just appeared out of thin hair.
Sarcasm is the ability to insult stupid people without them realizing it.
I wonder if there are birds that prefer not to sing in the morning and that just roll around in their nests until noon.
On a scale from 0 to insane I`m batman
I guess if you spoke your mind, you´d be speechless, huh?
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes off 9 minutes of your life.. According to my calculations i should have died in 1732.
At this point I`m just waiting for summer to be cancelled completely.
The best part of being a kid is probably saying, f*ck it. I`m going to be Spider-Man today.