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Driving would be much more entertaining if there were no yellow lights.
So, I guess we’re just supposed to assume the number is 1-800-Ghostbusters?
If your girlfriend claims to never look at your Facebook profile, change your status to "single" and wait 5 minutes.
You`ve really got to hand it to short people, because sometimes they often can`t reach it.
I am losing Facebook friends at an alarming rate. Whatever it is that I said, is working like a charm.
I bet Waldo`s parents are worried sick.
Each day is a gift, but some days are socks and underwear
My favorite beer is an open one.
Just how hairy was the dude who invented a shampoo called Head & Shoulders?
The new Jungle Book movie might be confusing to today`s kids who don`t remember when we had jungles. Or books...
You`ve already put up your Christmas tree? That`s nothing. I`m already drunk for St. Patrick`s Day.
Boss: "Are you texting?" Me: "No, I`m Tweeting." Boss: "What`s the difference?" Me: "Texting would imply that I have friends."
Is it weird that I`m 43 years old and have a secret handshake with 3 adults.....and my dog?
The real heroes are the people who live within driving distance of their in-laws.
Just discovered an app that tells you which one of your friends is stupid. It`s called Facebook.