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When I die and I`m standing at the gates, I hope they give me the carpenter`s cup challenge from Indiana Jones. I`m totally ready for that one.
Two knives taped together are not a suitable alternative to scissors.
I didn`t want to grow up; I just wanted to be able to reach the cookies.
I really hate it when someone else creates something that I haven`t had the chance to think of first...
There are over 10 different flavors of Ramen Noodles, yet they all taste like poverty and loneliness.
Baby gates are parents` way of saying "this area is locked until you’ve gained more experience."
Rough day! I have now completed the top 6 things off my to-do list ... Time to go get another six pack I guess.
Well ... here I am ... cleverly disguised as a responsible adult!
Spent morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
Single ladies, stop saying you should just give up & get a cat , if no man wants you , don`t force an innocent cat to live with you..
I thought "twerking" was short for "networking". I really embarrassed myself while giving that presentation to the company`s Board of Directors.
My nickname at work is "HR wants to see you"
Gravity didn`t seem this strong twenty-five years ago.
Jogging with a stroller is great exercise! And hard work for whoever is pushing me.
I must have drank more than I thought last weekend...there`s an entire hour that I don`t remember!