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It`s only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you realize that there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.
The only reason they make yellow starbursts is for when someone asks you if they can have one of your starbursts.
Why is maple syrup so expensive?.. It grows on trees doesn`t it?
Wish I turned into a wolf every month instead of getting my period
If at first you don’t succeed, look in the trash for the instructions.
Who wants to do something we will regret in the morning? Anyone?
"I know im the best driver on the road" thinks every guy.
Is it just me, or is Fantasy Football basically Dungeons & Dragons for jocks?
Life is simple. Eat. Sleep. Update Facebook status.
Today`s Big Idea: Coffee eye drops.
It`s that time of year again, to reflect and remember how much I love my tax deductions. Kids... I meant my kids.
That first kiss in the morning is so special, and the dog enjoys it too.
Remember bad decisions make the best stories!!!
People that are organized are just too lazy to look for things.
Do you think all the giraffes sit around and watch Margaret in Nebraska give birth?