Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My iPhone autocorrected "wish you were here" to "wish you were beer" ...I sent it anyways.
"You know what, we need a huge spoon to take care of this" -Guy who invented shovels
It`s not so much that I wanted to drink the whole bottle of wine, I just couldn`t figure out how to get the cork back in it.
A bee will knowingly risk its own life just to cause you a little pain. I can totally relate to that feeling.
I didn’t sign up for the 401k at work, because there’s no way I can run that far.
I hate it when I don`t forward a chain letter and I die the next day.
Was going to watch the presidential inauguration today, but found something more interesting on a different channel. Watched "How cow farts affect the ozone layer" on The Science channel.
My favorite sexual position is pretty much any of them. I`m just glad to be involved.
I remember when the internet was two tin cans and a string.
The worst thing about rich people is I`m not one of them.
A woman that doesn`t ask for nothing deserves everything
Sarcasm is wasted on the idiots who inspire it.
No one your age has any idea what they`re doing either. No matter what age you are.
A procrastinator’s work is never done.
People in glass houses can throw whatever they want. They live in a glass house, I`m not expecting them to be practical