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The term "I paid GOOD money for that!" is soo silly..Honestly, have you ever seen BAD money? NOT ME !!!
Tequila. For those nights you just want to pretend she`s hot.
Sometimes I miss being in a relationship, but then I look at my wallet and I feel alright again.
That awkward moment when you finally realize what your rice krispies are saying to you.
The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.
Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
I will always be here for you. Unless we run out of beer and someone has some over there. Then I will be over there for you.
I was told that exercise helps with your decision making. It’s true. After going to the gym earlier I’ve decided I’m never going again.
If you laid out all of the people in the world who were ever mean to me, I could then drive my car over them.
There’s nothing worse than getting $0.99 back in change.
That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is “act natural, you’re innocent”.
Where have you been all my life? Can you go back there?
Relatives comin` ~ hide all awesome stuff!
I have the means to do anything that I want on my day off from work which means that I dont want to do anything on my day off from work.
According to my current parking spot I`m a physician.