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Transformation Tuesday! Throwback Thursday! Flashback Friday! Never underestimate a woman`s ability to find a reason to post a selfie.
Love your neighbor ... but don`t get caught.
Sometimes I wonder if that kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught the fish yet.
My son just accused me of making stuff up. I wouldn`t mind but I don`t even have any children!
Sluts are just hookers with no grasp of economics.
Once you commit to the idea of a closed casket funeral it really takes a lot of pressure off how you live your life.
Most of you like waking up in the morning to see the "comments" and "likes" that your status received. I like waking up in the morning to see WTF I posted!
I have no problem admitting that you made a mistake.
Sometimes, talking to a woman requires a translator.
If you say "cash money" around me, Don`t act surprised when I kick you in the "balls nuts" See how stupid that sounds?
How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box for me to start a campfire?
Everyone loved Jack-in-the-box as kids. Now I`m older, I like mine in the bottle
I`m single by choice. Just not my choice.
I`m doing a charity gig tonight for people who struggle to achieve orgasm. Don`t worry if you can`t come
I think my iPhone is broken. I pressed the home button and Iām still at work.