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I`m sticking to my guns ... I really should have washed my hands after I ate.
I may or may not have just tried unlocking the wrong car for 15 minutes.
That awkward moment when you realize this year is just going to be filled with morons talking about the end of the world the whole time.
As long as there is an open textbook in front of you, nobody will question what you are doing on your laptop.
Stupidity should be painful...really!!!
"are you as bored as I am?" if you read that backwards, it still makes sense.
I didn`t see anyone important today so I`m going to wear the same clothes tomorrow.
Day six of my push-up challenge. So far, I`ve eaten 107 push-up pops.
Pretending to be a functioning adult is exhausting.
Lazy Rule#15325434090371466: you`re so lazy you didn`t even finish reading the number.
Something tells me that girl with the word "Princess" tattooed on her neck isn`t really Royalty.
I got a new high score today ... Sadly, it was on my bathroom scale
Show some cleavage on bad hair days.
A 15 year old took gold in the Olympics and then there is me whose greatest accomplishment is getting up to 10 on flappy bird.
All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.