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I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It`s the simple things that make me laugh....mostly you.
“What doesn’t kill you makes you smaller.” ~Mario
My girlfriend wanted me to show her a good time, so I showed her pictures of me before we met.
Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands!
"Hello, 911? Hi, I was just wondering: is it stop, drop, THEN roll? Cause my friend--STOP SCREAMING, I`M ASKING THEM"
It’s 2013, why does good food still have calories.
If your pillow fort hasn’t got an armory filled with Nerf guns, then you’re not really taking pillow forting as seriously as you should be.
I was a huge tomboy. Like, I had barbies, but only because my ninja turtles needed bitches.
thinking men should come with a carfax....
I woke up with a headache this morning but she went to work.
Sometimes, you wonder what the hell the music video has to do with the song.
Spent morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
Thought I was having deja-vu. But it turns out, I do the exact same things every day.
It´s never to late to be happy