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After listening to what some people have to say, I am rethinking the importance this whole freedom of speech thing.
I’m not shy. I’m just holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.
I hope to get to the point in my life where I`m not excited about finding change on the ground.
Married sext: I`m not wearing any underwear, because you never put the f*cking laundry in the dryer like I asked you to 100 times
Calm down ... Take a deep breath and hold it for about 30 minutes.
Still waiting for the moment when there will be a "add to wishlist" button on people`s facebook profile !!
I remember when downloading a song meant trying to tape it off the radio while hoping the DJ didn´t talk over the song.
I did not mean to hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I just figured you already knew.
The nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever so I can rest medicine didn´t work. I´m going to try 1 bourbon, 1 scotch and 1 beer instead.
The only hunger games i care about involve plastic hippos.
There were 2 muffins in a muffin shop the first 1 says "I love being a muffin!" then the 2 muffin says ``Holy crap its a talking muffin!"
"I" before "E" except after "Old MacDonald had a farm"
Look!!! I am always here for you no matter what,OK? unless there is something good on tv or I`m eating pie
It`s acceptable for someone to eat cereal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner as long as they still go to the gym, right? I`m asking for a friend...
I`m tired of making the same mistakes over and over again. Does anyone have any new mistakes I can borrow?