Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m 99.9% certain that every time a sock goes missing in the dryer, it comes back as an extra tupperware lid
I bet anyone who`s had to fight a bear has snuck at least one hug in
I may love you...but everyone else thinks you suck! I was kidding... I think you suck too.
If you think my post are bad, you should see my choice in men.
All I`m saying is why blame it on being lazy when you can blame it on being old...
Why is it that the instant I buy new chap stick, the old one magically reappears?
Have you seen that new golf ball that will automatically go in the hole if it comes within 4in of it. DO NOT carry it in your back pocket!
am updating my status just to let you know my status has no status
If I drop my food on a plane, and we change time zones at the same time, do I receive an additional hour to the 5 second rule?
Why do people with the most to say contribute the least?
I don’t want to rule the world… Just everything within a hundred square mile radius.
I had a wet dream about you last night. Yeah, I was drowning you in a lake.
"in other news… it turns out being mayor of Toronto is all that its cracked up to be" - George T. Ignace
I just wanna be the reason your doctor puts you on a new medication.
If you get pulled over, ignore the cop and tell him that your mommy told you not to talk to strangers.