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For those who do not know what ADHD can do to a person, let me expla.....oooh look i got a text message.
I love therapy sessions because I get to cry for an hour. It usually freaks out my patient, though.
If we agree, I`m probably being sarcastic ... Or I`m drunk
If you believe in reincarnation then your tombstone should say “b.r.b” instead of “r.i.p”.
Please don’t mistake my personality for flirting. Just because I’m awesome doesn’t mean I like you.
Walmart: the only place on Earth you can get a haircut, eye exam, ice cream sandwich, tires for your car, and witness a real life "what not to wear" episode.
Relationship status – table for one but drinks for two.
When I`m on my deathbed, I`m definitely going to ask if I can be moved to a different bed.
Dont you hate it when you open a bag of chips and its half full?! Yeah, that´s how us guys feel about push-up bras!!
A word to the wise ain`t necessary - it`s the stupid ones that need the advice!
LOL` the biggest lie on the internet.
I have tons of friends! Well i only have one... but she ways a ton!
She’s thinking about having beer pong at her reception… that’s walking a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The name CONstitution sounds so negative. Since `pro` is the opposite of `con` we should call it prosti..... oh wait.
I wish college was 5 easy payments of $19.99