Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
"You`re as crazy as your mother" is the last thing I remember saying before waking up in intensive care
Why do crutons come in resealable bags? Are we really worried about them going stale?
Sleep feels the way pizza tastes.
Okay, I can`t take it anymore. What in the hell holds the blocks up in Mario Brothers?
Don’t ask a girl where she wants to eat. Tell her to guess where you’re taking her to eat. Then take her to her first guess.
I`m not sure but I think the family from Honey Boo Boo is just a family of bears that were shaved down and shown how to sh!t indoors.
Did you know you have the right to remain silent even when you`re not being arrested?
Never forget that we live in a world in which it is easier to get out of a marriage than a mobile-phone contract.
I don`t care if its a scam! Just the fact that the Prince of Nigeria sends me personal email makes me feel special!
Like a good neighbor, strip clubs are there
You don`t appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things, like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
Is it yoga if you wear sweatpants all day and then hunch over the garbage can as you eat a burrito?
I`m disgusted by the thought of people updating their status while sitting on the toilet like I am right now.
My friend thinks he`s so smart. He said onions are the only food that can make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.