Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I bought a $300 dollar tent so I can camp outside Best Buy for 3 days to save $20 on a TV.
My safe word is letsgetmarried.
The best thing about the internet is how quickly you can offend the maximum amount of people with minimum effort
I don’t like people who can’t make fun of themselves. It just makes more work for me.
Let`s lay in bed all day & trade sexual favors for trips to the fridge
Cats have been named the #1 pet held hostage by lonely women.
I’ve never had angry sex. I’m always happy and quite surprised that it is actually happening.
Own the day
You can`t Febreze bullshit.
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
My credit card company called. They want me to leave home without it.
I`m so glad my face doesn’t have a progress bar that shows how long it takes me to understand what someone is saying.
Do a little dance... Drink a lot of rum... Fall down tonight...
DAAAAY-OH! DAAaay-oh! Monday come and me wanna go home.
I went frisbee golfing today. I didn`t get an ace, but I did hit a guy and that was just as satisfying.