Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Science is just a numbery way to explain magic.
I don`t eat a high fiber diet to be healthier, I eat so I`ll have to $hit more at work.
I knew you were coming so I baked a cake ... It was delicious.
My Bills are so big that I have to call them William now.
Let’s all take a moment and be thankful spiders can’t fly.
People with the loudest car audio systems usually have the worst taste in music.
Screw love... I`d rather fall in chocolate.
It`s a good idea to test your immune system from time to time by eating a gas station hot dog
I dreamt that was dreaming, and then someone woke me up and told me I was dreaming but it turned out I had only dreamed that so I went back to sleep in my dream, all upset that my dream that I was dreaming was interrupted by another dream....hahahahaha.....whoa, need to lay off the Red Bull.
B!tch life isn`t a garden ... So stop being a hoe!
At this point Washington DC is basically just an elaborate promotional stunt for Grand Theft Auto V.
That awkward moment when you take a bath in the middle of the day and don`t know whether to wear normal clothes or pajamas.
I need a fixed income. Mine is broken.
Arguing in sign language must be a workout.
I’m watching this show on stalkers, still haven’t seen any of you yet.