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If Facebook was school I swear we would all have perfect attendance.
What if pay-phones are disappearing so they can keep us in the matrix?
There must be an easier way to transport long poles across canyons other than walking across a tightrope carrying one pole at a time.
Does Starbucks have an express lane if your order is 10 words or less?
Quick question, ladies: If you shave your eyebrows off and then draw them back on, what the heck are you doing?
If the wicked witch of the west melts in water ... How did she bathe?
You might be a REDNECK if you think S.T.O.P. means spin tires on pavement!! :)) lol
If Santa doesn`t bring me something good I`m going to pee in his lap like I did when I was eight.
I wish banks would do a better job of keeping their ATMs filled. This is the fourth one I`ve been to that is saying "Insufficient Funds."
Dear Kelloggs, Cereal that makes them go back to sleep. Sincerely, Tired parents
Cheers to alcohol! The cause of, and solution, to all of life’s problems!
Rob Stalker for congressman........Stalker....a name you can trust.
Please don`t mistake my personality for flirting. Just because I`m awesome doesn`t mean I like you.
My girlfriend is gorgeous, selfless, graceful, highly intelligent and looking over my shoulder as I type.
I always wear a wedding ring when I go grocery shopping, so everyone thinks my cart full of groceries are for a family of 4 instead of just me