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If each day is a gift, I`d like to know where I can return Monday.
I`m sorry I hurt your feelings. When I called you stupid, I really thought you already knew..
For the record when I was a kid I never wanted to be an adult.
Being skinny might be nice, but having pizza is nicer.
I fail to understand the ‘good’ part of ‘good morning’
FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: “Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?”
Have you ever laughed so hard that no sound comes out and you sit there clapping your hands like a retarded seal?
Do you ever get the feeling that you’re being watched? Because if it’s bothering you, I’ll stop.
When one door closes and another one opens, it`s time to pack up and leave because your house is clearly haunted.
People are making Rapture jokes like there`s no tomorrow.....
If you want people to know where you stand, wear the same socks for a week
Yes, I talk to myself...Yes, I answer myself and Yes, I argue with myself....and the makeup sex is awesome.
I was the hot single in my area the whole time.
Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Nothing bad has happened, but I’m trying to be proactive.
Tieam... problem solved