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iOS 8 let`s you passcode lock specific apps? It`s fun imagining how many break ups that will cause.
I got pulled over for drunk driving last night. In my defense I didn`t even know I was driving.
I`ve taken my kids all over the country, but their favorite place to be is still "in the way."
I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out girls butts.
There is no evidence that exists that life should be taken seriously.
If you piss off a girl, just play dead. That sh!t works with bears and they`re just as dangerous as angry women.
If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other
The older I get the more use I have for the phrase "bite me."
Now working on my 2nd million. I gave up on the first.
Time to walk the cow and milk the dog, Happy Hump Day!
Going to Colorado this weekend to go ... "Hiking"
We’ve solved so many world problems, and yet chocolate still has calories.
Only YOU, can prevent bathroom mirror pictures.
These Jehovah`s Witnesses are getting creative. They are now knocking on my door dressed as cops saying they have a warrant.
It`s always the rednecks that know all the inner most conspiracies of the government.