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I may not be the richest guy...or the smartest guy...or the funniest guy...or the best-looking guy...or the .....:( Forget it, now I`m depressed.
I really would like to take a yoga class. But I really can`t trust my farts.
God created the world in 7 days but took 9 months to create me. So clearly Iām a big deal...
I don`t think any of my vampire jokes will ever see the light of day.
I thought I was losing weight, but it turned out my sweatpants had come untied.
Up to date Girl Scout cookie sales by states: California: 138,000 Boxes Florida: 129,000 Boxes Virginia: 126,000 Boxes Colorado: 8 Million Boxes
Studies show that people who want tribal tattoos are directly related to living under a rock
I like to go to the bathroom with the door open, because it keeps other people from getting onto the elevator with me.
Redneck WORD OF THE DAY: WATER My girlfriend gets mad and I don`t even know water problem is!
I just hope my stalker doesn`t tell my dentist how infrequently I floss.
people say nobody`s perfect..i made nobody!..
A part of me wants to go on a diet and eat healthy. Sadly that part of me is a liar.
My Wife says I talk while I sleep..........but I`m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it
If flying is really so safe, then why is it called the `terminal`?
When ever I think about the past...It brings back so many memories