Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t have the blood alcohol level to deal with you
E-Cigs. The great taste of water vapor, the cool look of blowing a flashlight.
I like pressing F5. It`s so refreshing.
I just read last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don’t want to start any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number? ...hmm
Was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently, "A way out" wasn`t the right answer...
I`ve been holding my stomach in for 3 years now so don`t talk to me about dedication!
Salary is like a menstrual cycle, it comes once a month and is gone in five days...
Of all the martial arts, Karaoke inflicts the most pain.
I don`t normally poop with the door open, but I don`t want to miss the in flight movie
Every girl is beautiful, sometimes it just takes the right amount of alcohol to see it....
It’s a good job Apple isn’t in charge of New Year. We’d all be expecting 2015 and get 2014S instead.
When you turn 21, you can legally do all the things you`ve been doing since you were 15.
Whenever I feel that someone is about to sneeze I yell “PIKA!” & they’re like “CHU!”. I don’t have any friends.
Yeah, I was gonna do that, but summer.
Yo fellas, how did that “wow” comment you left on that girls Facebook picture play out?