Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
everybody has a girlfriend or boyfriend, and i`m just over here like `i love food`.
Based on the condition of my hair in the morning, I`d say there`s a 100% chance my hair has more fun than I do when I sleep.
A yawn is a silent scream for coffee!
My life is a lot like Ikea furniture with missing instructions. I’ll get it together eventually but it won’t ever feel quite right.
I sure buy a lot of alcohol. Hope I`m not a shopaholic.
Remember, laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have diarrea.
The Zoo is a safe place to fart.
Did you know that doughnuts make your clothes shrink?
Babies are so cute because none of them are mine.
Who decided that the abbreviation for pound should be two letters not in the word?
Where is the "Made In China" labels made?
Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second drop rule has now been increased to 10.
DiGiorno should start delivering, just to screw with people.
There`s not much more gratifying than seeing a chick who thinks she`s super hot trip on her high heels.
There are no absolutes in this world. Except vodka.