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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

If I could be anyone else in the whole world, I would still be me so that I wouldn`t have to buy new clothes.
Why is it that everyone you hate has such a better job than you?
The way my kids act at Walmart, it`s just a matter of time before the security camera footage is a hit reality show!
Taco Bell drive-thru should have a β€œI’m Feeling Lucky” button.
She might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty`s only a light switch away.
I`ve never been skydiving, but I`ve zoomed in on Google Earth really, really fast.
When I squeeze a tube of `whitening toothpaste` and it’s blue, I’m like, well this is off to a bad start.
is easily distracted by shiny objects.
Weird how β€œnews” and β€œfact checking” are treated like two separate concepts these days.
I dreamt I was you..I hated myself. Luckily I woke up..woah that was close.
I`m not drunk ... But I`m working on it.
I hate when you tell someone you’re bored, and they suggest getting together. Then you have to explain that you’re not quite that bored.
Top three reasons he doesn`t text you back: 1. He`s just not that into you 2. He`s imaginary 3. He`s a cat
I’m not positive that having the TV volume on an odd number will destroy the world, but lets not risk it.
Me: I must be out of my mind. Me: You and me both.