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Bigger isn`t always better. Thighs, for example.
I keep forgetting how bad my memory has become
Survival rule #1: You go first.
It`s weird how Dora is multilingual at 4 but can`t find the banana tree behind her...
I think every Taco Bell value meal should be called a "Number 2".
Working from home and HR already cited me for sexual misconduct.
FB friends, please let me know if you own one of those cool little Smart cars so I can unfriend you.
Unwritten Rule of the Day: Don´t make eye contact while eating a banana.
I just saw a man salute the Budweiser truck on the highway. LMAO
Its awkward touching hands with another man in a popcorn bag, especially if you don`t know the man & he doesn`t know you`re eating his popcorn
All fortune cookies should just read, "You will have diarrhea for the next 24 hours.
I once had a goldfish that could break-dance on carpet, but only for like 20 seconds...
So you have 820 friends on Facebook and yet no one was around to take your picture when you decided to use the mirror for a good shot?
Another year has passed. I`ve just about given up on the Mayans.
You never know how many people you dislike until you have to name your child.