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Of course I talk to myself. I need to have an intelligent conversation every now and then.
Hey ladies breastfeeding in public,...Why don`t you ever smile in my pictures?
My favorite part of the day? The food part.
There is no such thing as bad luck, there is good luck and life!
Met a girl for a first date and quickly found out that her version of "Do you want to go downtown?" is vastly different than mine.
WARNING!! I have character defects and I`m not afraid to use them.
I got pulled over for drunk driving last night... In my defense I didn`t even know I was driving.
Why do people have to get ready for bed? I`m always ready for bed.
Fish who are caught and released are like the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens.
no..i am not drunk, floors needs hugs too ! :p
Everyone`s self worth should only be measured by how useful they would be in the zombie apocalypse.
Why do they leave folding chairs so close to the wrestling ring? Shouldn’t the maintenance staff have learned their lesson by now?
Personal trainer said we`re going to try some dips today. I brought hot salsa and tangy cheese...He hates me.
I don`t need WebMD to tell me what`s wrong with me, I have my mother.
Describe yourself in 3 words". "Not good at following instructions"