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I`m surprised carving faces into vegetables after pulling out their innards isn`t incorporated into more American Holidays.
Surgery beds are basically cutting boards for humans.
I think there’s finally enough stuff in my kitchen junk drawer to build a spaceship.
Is a rivalry between two vegetarians still called a beef?
What would I do if I won the lottery? Make Charlie Sheen look like an amateur.
My life coach is the cashier at the liquor store.
Stupidity should be painful...really!!!
A fun thing to yell at a magic show is "BURN HIM, HE`S A WITCH"
My favorite thing about decorative towels is how you`re not allowed to use them. Because nothing says class like useless towels.
To understand paranoid people better, follow them around. Observe them. Write down notes.
I hate to be one of those who post cliffhangers but...
Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol
Every family has a plastic bag full of plastic bags.
I wish that some of my coworkers were not allowed in the break room because those are the people I need a break from.
is at the park. Unless you’re my boss, in which case, I’m at work.