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It`s amazing how much people are willing to lower their eating standards when you insert the word "free" in front of the word "food".
Do not read the next sentence. You little rebel, that`s why I like you.
Is life fair? Short answer, no. Long answer, nooooooo.
If you think I hate you ... I probably do.
Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.
I forget, on which side of my dinner plate am I supposed to set my phone?
If you really think about it, "Nightlife" is just a fancy word for drinking alcohol at a place that isn`t your house.
I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like "Dude, you have to wait."
If Olympic drinking was an event I would probably take gold in the floor routine.
Today in my local cemetery I came across the grave of Arthur Wynne the inventor of the crossword puzzle. For those that want to know where he is buried it`s 6 down and 4 across.
I hope I can still remember the dance to Thriller when I become a Zombie.
So if a dentist makes money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should we trust a toothbrush that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?
If ANY of my posts have made even one person’s day better, then there’s something seriously wrong with that person
How many servings of fruit are in a fruit roll up? I`m trying to take my diet seriously now.
Every time I go to the bank I ask if they are giving out any free samples.