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They say love is more important than money. I`d like to see them go and try to pay their bills with a hug.
the dude who posted ”MERRY CHRISTMAS“ has still got his head shoved up the turkeys A$$ it seems...
I feel like there’s something missing in my life and I don’t know if it’s a person, a dog, or just a pizza.
I bet spongebob will get his license before Taylor Swift finds love.
Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There`s liquor and you can`t hear them.
I always make it a point to become friends with babies. That`s free cake once a year for a lifetime.
Finding friends with the same disorder as you... priceless!
No one is as ugly as their driver`s license, and nobody is attractive as their profile picture.
You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you’ve had?
Hey, does anyone know which side you`re supposed to wear your fanny pack on? I want to really nail this job interview tomorrow.
Laughter is not the best medicine. Laughter with large amounts of alcohol & wild crazy monkey sex - now that`s the best medicine.
Don’t bother looking up “impose.” It’s next to impossible.
I just had a threesome in the shower with Johnson and Johnson.
The best part of being a kid is probably saying, f*ck it. I`m going to be Spider-Man today.
They say love is in every corner… Then my life must be a freakin’ circle.