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Just saw someone holding a sign that said "Honk 2 impeach Obama" You`d think the process to impeach a president would be more complicated
I screamed a Brazilian times during that waxing.
TEIAM - problem solved
If revenge is a dish best served cold AND revenge is sweet then revenge is basically ice cream. Bring it.
Does anyone else make transformer noises when changing sex positions? Asking for a friend.
I can take care of my drunk friends, so the responsibility of having children doesn`t worry me.
Hang out with different people everyday so the only person who knows you`ve been wearing the same outfit all week is you.
Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents job.
This oatmeal tastes like I`m gonna need a doughnut.
Every novel is a mystery, if you never finish it.
If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there’s some millionaire walking around who invented the Pool Noodle.
I dont mind going to work, but this eight hour wait to go home is bullsh*t
can´t find Sesame Street on my GPS. Can you tell me how to get there?
Remembering to remember is always the first thing I forget.
There`s a pretty good chance I`ll end up being one of those senior citizens who randomly bites people...