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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

My kids keep bugging me about dinner even after I told them I already ate...
My internet addiction is getting alt of ctl.
I`ve been starting my diet tomorrow for the last 20 years.
Vodka and denial are cheaper than therapy.
You might be addicted to Facebook if you read my post`s every day...
I keep trying to avoid trouble but I think it likes me.
A penny for your thoughts. Five bucks if they`re dirty.
It’s like nobody ever considers the consequences of getting to know me.
Do you ever get the feeling that you`re being watched? Because if it`s bothering you, I`ll stop.
What idiot called it Adderall instead of Accomplish Mints?
Netflix is a lot like facebook in the way I just waste time scrolling and scoffing at things.
Sarcasm is the ability to insult stupid people without them realizing it.
You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail.
I`d like to test the theory that money can`t buy you happiness.
Finding a needle in a haystack is quite easy if you just set the hay on fire.