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why earn money when it comes easier when you just ask
I end a sentence with "just sayin" because ending it with "dumbass" would be offensive.
Sadly, the opposite sex is ignoring me like a check engine light.
Just drove past the house where I lost my virginity. There wasn`t even a plaque or anything. Pretty ridiculous if you ask me.
Common sense is like deodorant; those that need it most, don’t use it.
"Trust your gut" is terrible advice. How can I put trust in something that tells me to eat an entire pizza when I get drunk?
There`s no panic like trying to press "End" when you make an accidental call.
"I get knocked down, but I get up again, You`re never gonna keep me down" ~Bowling pins
Being with you is like listening to golf on the radio.
Dogs are great. You can count on them to alert you of danger...Also, children passing by, squirrels and gusts of wind they don`t like.
I will stop loving you, when Spongebob gets his driving license.
If people winked in real life as much as they do in texts, the world would be a really creepy place.
Life is just better when you’re laughing.
I’m pretty sure the whole “ladies first” thing was created by a guy that just wanted to check out a girl’s butt.
Note to Self: These Note to Selves don’t work.