Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Doing nothing is very hard to do, you never know when your finished.
My first mistake was thinking she couldn`t hit a moving target.
I`m in hospital after eating what i thought was onions instead they were daffodil bulbs. Its ok doctors say i will be out in spring.
Why is it when you go to get your drivers license photo, they tell you to smile. Your not smiling when the police pull you over.
AOL has been hacked. Users have also been asked to check their Atari settings for possible compromise.
I wonder how often I’ve narrowly avoided death without even noticing.
I`ve grown up a lot recently. For example, I used to drink beer all day and now I drink wine.
If my body was a car, I`d trade it in for a newer model. Cause everytime I cough or sneeze, my radiator leeks and my exhaust backfires.
Trust me ...... I can`t believe I`m still here either.
that strange moment when you get in the van and theres no candy...-Drew Balthaser
I`m not sure how to say this but ... Worcestershire sauce
The first rule of the OCD Club is to have a second rule so there is an even number of rules.
I`ve never done any mistake twice... three, four times may be!
I don`t understand why people pay therapists when I`ll tell them what`s wrong with them for free.
No really I`m fine, I have drugs and alcohol to block out reality, but thanks anyway...