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Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is you are stupid and make bad decisions.
Trying to figure out why I joined the gym when I have Photoshop.
when a girl says "whatever" what she really means "I hope you get shot, fall off a bridge, get raped by a shark, and then eaten by it
Ironically the only way I`d watch the 50 Shades of Grey movie is if you tied me to a chair and forced me to.
Comment if you think I`m normal... Like this if you think I`m crazy... Copy this if you know your crazy too! And if your me... OMG TURKEY SQUIRREL! :)
Say no to drugs! Then again, if you`re talking to drugs, you`re probably already on drugs.
U still drunk from last night or did u get a new buzz going this morning.
Time to clean the house. Good thing I took that delegation class at work and I have 2 kids. This is going to be fun
Help keep America beautiful. Stay in your house today.
This debate episode has to be the craziest Celebrity Apprentice I`ve ever seen!
Hey Pringles, it`s time to widen the can. Your core demographic isn`t exactly thin-wristed.
Don’t start an argument with a girl because they have 45030194 GB memories and will bring up something you did at 2:27PM on April 23rd 2008.
Naked and Afraid also describes the last time I spent a night at a Holiday Inn
Turns out a At Home DNA Test is not a good baby shower gift.
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap a better status than yours!