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I have a feeling my dying words will be "Honey, I was just joking."
I`ve been wondering, If poison goes out of date and expires, does it become more or less deadly?
"Open Mike Night" sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I`d been invited to an autopsy.
I often confuse reptiles and amphibians. Actually, if I`m being brutally honest, they pretty much never know what I`m talking about
Sorry for whatever I said when I was hungry.
I suspects that whoever named that Icelandic volcano (Eyjafjallajokull) must have fallen asleep on their keyboard while thinking it up.
The pharmacist asked me my birthday again today. Pretty sure she`s going to get me something.
It`s funny how this guy grating cheese over my pasta thinks I`m going to say stop.
Take Note: a stress ball can be used for throwing at people who stress you out.. You`re Welcome..
I keep an identical glass of vodka next to the water on my bedside table for a refreshing morning game of Russian Roulette
Would the 2 Sonic dudes just get it over with and kiss already
Im really not just some idiot with nothing better to do with my time, I just play one in FB.
I bought a little bag of air today, and the company that made it were kind enough to put some potato chips in it.
Benefits of dating me: 1. You`re the sane one.
If you`re crazy and you know it shake your meds...