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Does ke$ha go by k€sha in Europe?
If you ever need anything please don`t hesitate to ask someone else first.
Sometimes when I wave my hands in the air, I actually do care.
Ninja Mode is not a plausible excuse for not being seen at work.
I am at the gym! Well, the parking lot. They have free wi-fi.
Some days your the duck. Some days your the goose.
My mother suggested that I get professional help... and that`s when I hired my first hooker.
All of my selfies are just still shots from surveillance footage.
In Starbucks a customer went sh*t house rat crazy when they got a double shot of espresso instead of the triple shot they ordered ... I`m fine now.
No Shirt No Shoes No Service. What about pants?
The best things in life can`t be seen or touched....well, at least that`s what the restraining order says.
In my experience, temporary insanity can last a long time.
Being a Zombie doesn`t sound that bad. You don`t have a job and your entire day is spent looking for things to eat. Shit, I do that now.
"There are singles in your area." - me telling a stripper she forgot some money on the floor
Every so often you come across a person who always smiles no matter what, that person is the reason why random bitch slaps should be a thing