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I think it`s safe to say that my 2 year old is definitely more excited to see the fire truck next door than my neighbor.
Karma is like a rubber-band: it can only stretch so far before it comes back and smacks you in the face.
Every time I use a public bathroom, I always wonder why so many people have Sharpies on them at all times.
All I`m saying is, China could have a much better relationship with the West if they shared their dragons with us. But, whatever, be that way.
If I had a time machine I`d set it to "back in the day", just to see what everyone is talking about.
I wonder what my dog has named me?
"There`s a sleeping person. Let`s go ask it questions." ā Children
I`ve started to make a fresh start in 2015, so if I owe you money, too bad.
At this age, I drive everything like I stole it because sometimes I forget which car is mine.
I attend weddings simply to hear them two beautiful words that bring so many happy people together...."Open Bar!!"
Hooters does have hot girls, but the Subway girls are the real wife material.
The only thing worse than it raining after you wash your car is having to go poop after you get out of the shower.
That one day of fame on Facebook because it`s your birthday.
School was so much easier when 2 plus 2 equaled 4 instead of "X." Whoever decided to involve the alphabet in math deserves a solid punch to the face.
Iām going to be very busy in the afterlife. the list of people Iām going to haunt grows everyday.