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If you figure me out I want an explanation.
Currently helping my girlfriend look for her chocolates that I ate 5 hours ago...
I’ve been searching for my stolen bed. And I won’t rest until I find it.
What does envelope 1 of 3 on my credit card bill mean?
Giving people the finger while driving just isn`t effective. Which is why I had the catapult installed.
feels guilty for not spending more time with my kids. I should really get them a Facebook account.
My bed and I are in a good relationship, and my alarm clock is so0o jealous...
Did you know you can buy live lobsters? Anyway, can I use your shower mine is full of lobsters.
Funny how people get all angry when you break something of theirs that they don`t ever use. Like turn signals with a baseball bat.
No thanks, Inspirational guy, but I am only on Facebook for the jokes and the meltdowns.
You win some, you lose some...unless you`re me, then you win them all.
Some days you just can`t get home to your liquor fast enough
Never marry a tennis player " love means nothing to them "
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