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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, please take them off.
If you`re single and you know it hug your cat!
It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do!
Girls don`t dress for boys, they dress for themselves... If girls dressed for boys, they`d just walk around naked all the time.
Never wake a sleeping woman. Because then she´ll be awake.
Why do they call a grapefruit a grapefruit? I mean there is already a fruit called a grape!!
You`re about 8 beers away from being my type.
Every once in a while someone really special walks into your life. That person is usually delivering a pizza
U still drunk from last night or did u get a new buzz going this morning.
If my calculations are correct, I can retire about 5 years after I die.
Male camel toe? Dude that`s just nuts.
If you don`t remember her name in the morning, take her to Starbucks.
"You blew a tranny" means something completely different to an auto mechanic.
The club sandwich, for when a knuckle sandwich just isn`t enough...
We could learn a lot from bees. Organization, productivity, community sacrifice, stinging people who annoy us.......