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You can learn a lot about a girl by ignoring her text messages.
School is like an erection. It`s long and hard unless you`re Asian.
I`m sick and tired of people telling me to turn off my lights to save the environment. I tried it once and I hit a cyclist....
Damn your Hott!...........................Freaking Sun! lmao =P
Happy 4th of July ... U can toss out the Christmas tree now
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
If you don’t like something change it... if you can’t change it....post it on facebook, so we can "like it" and laugh..
Mashed potatoes really beg the question: “what else could we massively improve by squashing the hell out of it?”
This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness....NO WE WON`T!!
What is this `wrong hole` you people speak of?
Tupperware is so handy for those times when you feel like throwing out your food another day.
I used to play sports. Then realized you can buy trophies. Now I´m good at everything.
I see subway employees are still having their "how much lettuce can you fit on a sandwich" contest.
Relationship Tip for men: When a woman says, "Correct me if I`m wrong but...."Don`t do it!! It`s a trap!! DO NOT, I repeat, do not correct that woman!!!
At least a stalker is there for you.