Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it. I am totally fleible.
Not sure if this Adderall is working but I just made a pros and cons list about pros and cons lists.
Boss: Why aren`t you working? Me: I didn`t see you coming!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don`t know what he laced them with, but I`ve been tripping all day.
Success is 1% inspiration, 98% perspiration and 2% attention to detail.
Dinosaurs never had pizza and they all died.
I don’t know what my neighbor’s name is and we’ve been neighbors too long for me to ask.
I was way too drunk last night to drive home. So I drove to another party.
I always try to learn from the mistakes of other people..... who have taken my advice
Things could be worse ... sex could be fattening
Did you know? If you put your finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds like Packman!
I`m painting a blue square in the backyard... so Google Earth thinks I have a pool.
I bought a little bag of air today, and the company that made it were kind enough to put some potato chips in it.
Whoever said "money doesn`t grow on trees" has obviously never sold weed.
if you don`t have anything nice to say, come sit by me, and we can make fun of people together.