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“Hangover” makes it sounds like it’s all done now. I’d like to propose the term “hanghappening”.
"Hot singles in your area want nothing to do with you." -Honest spam
I get a little nervous before saying Worcestershire sauce.
Despite the old saying, "Don`t take your troubles to bed", many women still sleep with their husbands.
If you`re a girl and you drink Vodka... there`s a high probability, I love you.
Everything is so much funnier when you`re not allowed to laugh.
If I`ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it’s that everyone speaks English after they die.
Why am I always right but people still ignore me...?
You don`t truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine.
When people have cars as their profile picture I automatically presume they are a transformer.
Some of us live thousands of miles away from the majority of our relatives and can`t be with them for the holidays. But don`t be jealous.
I admit ive been known to wrap bacon in bacon just for the extra bacon flavor
Like a good neighbor, stay over there
Apparently taking a nap does not qualify as "doing some undercover work"
A 5 year old asked me what marriage is like. So I gave him a chocolate bar and told him not to eat it.