Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do not treat a woman like an object. It hates that...
To be honest, I panic a bit right before I have to pronounce Worcestershire sauce.
Have a day. That`s about as inspirational I get.
I am, have to avoid the leg cramps during sex, years old.
Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.
I don’t think we can get through adulthood without a good sense of humor and a strong middle finger.
Girls who don`t get naked when you`re drunk.. Explain yourselves.
If you laid out all of the people in the world who were ever mean to me, I could then drive my car over them.
Mirrors don`t lie. Lucky for you, they can`t laugh either.
Trust me , as you get to know me , i just get weirder.
The Internet: where no one is afraid to say the first thing that pops into their head.
I`m going to start a band called "Free Beer" because when people see a sign that says "Free Beer Tomorrow at 9PM" everyone is going to be there.
Trying to untwist a twizzler is a real b*tch and this gas station cashier yelling at me isn`t helping.
I made this margarita with my kids` slushie machine ... Don`t judge
Not to brag or anything, but I don`t need alcohol to make really bad decisions.