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No one’s going to do it for you. It’s up to just you to make naps a priority in your life.
Roses are red, violets are blue, If i had a brick id throw it at you.
We all have that funny voice we use when talking to dogs, babies... and idiots!
If the Terminator was female the line would have been, “I might be back, I haven’t decided yet.”
So far today has been a pretty good day...I haven`t had to bite or hit anyone, yet!!
If you have ever sat in the toilet at work and wondered how long you can sit there before someone searches for you, the answer is 47 minutes
Sometimes I feel moderately intelligent. Other times I have to sing the "ABCs" in my head to remember which letter comes next.
Hey Gotham City criminals, why isn’t the first thing on your to-do list “Unplug the Bat Signal”?
It`s really crazy that you don`t hear a round of applause every time you order a salad.
I`ve started an exercise program. I do 20 sit-ups each morning. That may not sound like a lot, but you can only hit that snooze button so many times.
It´s never to late to be happy
Just gave the Earth a one-star rating and a bad review on TripAdvisor to discourage any aliens that were planning an invasion.
I licked some of the frosting, but then I just ate the whole cake. No evidence. Problem solved.
If zombies ever attack just go to Costco...they have concrete walls...years of foods and supplies...and best of all the zombies can`t get in without a Costco membership card.
If my week was a YouTube video, Monday would be that crappy ad that it doesn`t let you skip.