Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I find you`re total lack of ambition is inspiring.
Does Facebook offer a 401(k)?
The part of “no” that I don’t understand is the part where I don’t get what I want.
Whoever is controlling me sucks at this game.
I’d like to see the dollar store get a liquor license.
I just read more people are killed by toasters than sharks.So if you`re swimming in the ocean and see a toaster SWIM FOR YOUR LIFE!
Seems like you must have been pretty stupid to get caught for murder in the 1800s
Magic words that make my children disappear: 1) Bath time. 2) Who did this?!?! 3) When I was your age...
People who actually rate porn videos are the unsung heroes of our generation.
I bet my mom is looking down on me right now, wherever she is. She`s not dead, just very condescending.
you can´t drink all day if you don´t start in the morning
I`d go to church if they had Wi-Fi.
Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Nothing bad has happened, but I’m trying to be proactive.
Bored? Simply send a text to a random number saying "I`m pregnant"
Nothing says " My divorce didn`t go as planned " quite like the guy with grocery bags hanging on the sides of his bicycles handlebars