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What´s the difference between light and hard? You can go to bed with a light on.
The most common crossfit injury is a black eye from talking about it too much.
I bet spongebob will get his license before Taylor Swift finds love.
Summer is real cool until every f*ckin type of insect comes out of the 8th circle of hell.
You don’t look like 200 likes in person.
It took Harry Potter 7 damn long books to catch the bad guy. When it only takes Scooby-Doo 25 minutes.
Next time a guy asks for your number, write it down in Roman numerals. If he manages to call you, he`s a keeper.
U make me wish I had more middle fingers
I love myself everyday. Sometimes, twice a day.
Cats have tails so you can swing them around. Duh.
Best thing to do when you`re stuck in a group text is to to throw your phone in the street and start a new life and maybe get some chipotle
This cold weather makes me half the man I used to be.
roes are red violets are blue he`s for me not for you if for any chance you`ll take my place i`ll use my fist and smash your face
My rabbit died yesterday… Now he’s just some bunny that I used to know…
You know that old saying? If you seen one woman naked. You want to see all women naked.