Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My boss hates "yes" men and I have to agree with him.
This headache feels like dumb people
I’m always frank with my sexual partners. Don’t want them knowing my real name.
The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. At least, that`s what the restraining order says.
I will have you know I have FRIENDS! All 10 seasons.
I`m not sure but I think the family from Honey Boo Boo is just a family of bears that were shaved down and shown how to sh!t indoors.
The list of things I won’t eat if covered in chocolate gets smaller everyday.
They say 1 in 3 people cheat in a relationship. I`m not sure if its my wife or my girlfriend.
To be honest, I´m just fishing for compliments tonight.
I live for those really small but special moments in life, like when I see the waiter bringing my food to the table.
Everyday I fall in love with you more and more. Except yesturday, yesturday you were pretty f*cking annoying.
Answering all questions with "but you ain`t got no legs Lieutenant Dan" stops people from asking you questions.
I bet if Jesus had turned water into Vodka. The Bible would`ve been a lot more interesting.
How dare the NFL build walls to keep fans that haven`t paid for a ticket from entering the game!
You know that really private/embarrassing stuff you say to your girlfriend when no one else is around? Her friends know all that sh!t.