Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If my calculations are correct then someone else did them for me.
Social media - keeping people away from each other since 2006.
You don`t have to like me, I`m not a Facebook status.
I wish pillsbury would think of another way to open biscuits without giving you a heart attack ;)
My pet unicorn told me that I was being delusional again. :/
If by angry birds you mean flipping off a$$holes while driving then yes I`m at the expert level of Angry Birds
On a scale of 9 to 10, how would you rate me?
Going to write hasbro a nasty letter!!! The monopoly get out of jail free card doesn`t work...since I`m texting you can you come bail me out?
had a great time horseback riding today but then I ran out of quarters
If you are offended by the opinions I express you can only imagine the ones I keep to myself.
Whoa. I just did something & almost forgot to document it on facebook. That was a close one.
Being stuck in the`` friend zone`` is like an employer refusing you for a job and calling you to complain about the person he hired.
I`m at my most popular when I just want to be alone.
I could totally handle twins, triplets even quadruplets. Hold it, you`re talking about BABIES?
My therapist keeps saying that I should really stop talking to inanimate objects.....but he`s a lamp...what does he know....