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I wonder if "Sober Me" knows that "Drunk Me" can Breakdance?
I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection.
You should probably take everything I say with a grain of salt. And lime. And shot of tequila.
You will attract attention if wearing a skirt on a windy day. This is doubly true if you are a man.
There are people in life you could NEVER get tired of hitting with a shovel!!!
When someone looks over my shoulder while I`m on the computer, I open up a new tab and start searching, "HOW TO KILL THE PERSON BEHIND ME."
I do my best proofreading after I hit send.
I hope when the machines take over the world they start by fixing my cable.
Answering your cell when you don`t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.
my neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning , can you believe that 2:30am? Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums...
Slowly, Waldo`s wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together
When the zombie apocalypse happens, I’m going to blast Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”, while the zombies chase us, just to lighten the mood.
If I had spoken to my parents the way some children do now, I would not be here to share this status.
I`m not sarcastic…I`m just intellegent beyond your understanding.
If a dwarf smokes weed does he get high or medium?