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Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: Probably still mirrors.
I think on December 21 all the power companies should shut off the power for like 10 minutes just to make people flip out.
Thought for the day: Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain, and that is where sh!tty ideas come from!
My pessimism has never failed me, but I`m sure someday it will.
I really shouldn`t have driven home from the bar last night. Especially since I walked there.
Lol at birds that walk places.
"Three blind mice" is probably the most popular nursery rhyme about animal cruelty
looong and hard, yep thats my pencil.
God created the world in 7 days but took 9 months to create me. So clearly Iām a big deal...
You haven`t truly made it on YouTube until someone recognizes you in the unemployment line and asks for your autograph.
I am so clever sometimes I don`t even understand what I`m saying.
They say a dog can retrieve a tennis ball from over a mile away. Seems a bit far fetched to me.
When I said I like it rough I was talking about the sex, not the whole entire relationship...
I didn`t come here to make friends. I go to the cat shelter for that.