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How to make a Vodka Christmas cake. . (Made mine this morning!!!!) 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1......bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit. Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be... sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to
This day needs more tomfoolery!
You know you`re a bad driver when Siri says, " In 400 feet, stop and let me out".
You might be addicted to Facebook if you read my post`s every day...
Wanna screw with your idiot friends on Facebook? Post that Obama passed a law to stay in office a third term this morning. Praise Jesus.
I hope the next big trend in music is Talent.
If I suddenly had the ability to teleport, I’d spend an entire day popping up naked in front of people and asking for John Connor.
3 wishes for when I find a genie: 1. The more I eat the skinnier I get 2. One kid grows up to be a pharmacist 3. Other kid owns a winery
I feel it`s important for you to know, no matter what I`m faced with and when given the option, I am that guy who will send you a voice-mail marked confidential.
LIKE if you check your phone to see what time it is and then check it again because the first time you weren’t paying attention.
When someone says "Happy New Years" I wonder, how many years are they talking about?
You care so much about me? Keep that sh*t to yourself i got my demons under control
Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion?
going to mcdonalds for a salad is like going to a brothel for a hug
The problem with drinking with people from work is they`re the ones I bitch about when I`m drunk.