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"It seemed like a good idea at the time"............................... An often used phrase in a lot of my memories.
I`m surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics...So glad I found you all.
I love going for walks in the rain. You can pee your pants and no one will be the wiser.
Life rarely hands me anything. Am I in the wrong line?
Don`t give me a sec, give me lots of secs.
Tomorrow, I`m going to open up the time capsule I buried when I was a kid. I can`t wait to see how big my puppy got!
I just don`t want to look back and think "I could`ve eaten that"
Here`s a list of helpful tips for meeting a great girl: 1. Don`t be me.
Every club is a strip club, if you have the money. Every zoo is a petting zoo, if you have the balls.
Well, I`m really not sure what my spirt animal is but I`m sure it looks like road kill right about now.
I`m happy, but not "Oprah just told me to look under my chair" happy.
I once dated a girl with a parrot. The thing was crazy and never shut up! The parrot was cool though.
There are other things in life besides sex and alcohol. Those other things all suck, but they do exist, I assume.
Come to think of it, I’ve never seen a taxi fill up at a gas station
You know you should goto sleep when the sheep you`re counting start hitting the fence.